Pre-marriage is a romantic time – a heady and exciting time and it is so by design. It is also a time when we overlook a good deal in our potential husband or wife. We want to see things go forward. We overlook a few things in ourselves as well because it would shake us out of our reverie to entertain practical things too much.
Keep First Thing’s First
“Practical things” can include anything from finances and living arrangements to emotional and thinking habits that interplay between you. With all the details leading up to a wedding, these things threaten to take a backseat for the time being. And when you finally find yourself alone together, all you want to do is to take a time-out from the stress.
One of the luxuries of working with a trained premarital counselor is that he/she is willing to wade through all the emotional details with you. These things, of course, will immediately matter in married life together. Who wants to begin your marriage ignoring conflicts, resigning to: “we don’t talk about that,” or, “I guess he/she is just not all that great and we’ll just kind of get by?”
To a Christian counselor, the fantasy you have about marriage at the beginning is more than justified. The biblical pattern is to start out with a vision — what lies ahead is fulfillment.
So, this is where faith enters marriage: In the midst of what others would call conflict and disappointment, you learn to remind one another of what you know. God is for you and for your marriage, He is with you and means to bring your joy and freedom to fulfillment.
Hang in There
Conflicts and seeming disappointments are crucial to your growth and fulfillment together, and what better time to start dealing with them than at the beginning?
Pre-marital counseling can give you the luxury of a roadmap for the journey ahead.
It’s nice to foresee the kinds of things God is going to use between the two of you to grow you together, to make you solid in your selves and free in your choices. Developing communication skills early on will help you get to that place of faith together and you will be more prepared as those inevitable and essential conflicts arise.
The Counselors at Seattle Christian Counseling are available to meet with you and prepare you for the exciting journey ahead!