Abandonment Issues and Neglect

On the most basic level, abandonment and neglect are defined as:

Abandonment: According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, abandonment is legally defined as: “failure to have contact with a spouse that is intended to create a permanent separation” or “failure to communicate with or provide financial support for one’s child over a period of time that shows a purpose to forego parental duties and rights.”

Neglect: Merriam-Webster Dictionary legally defines neglect as: “a disregard of a duty resulting from carelessness, indifference, or willfulness; especially: a failure to provide a child under one’s care with proper food, clothing, shelter, supervision, medical care, or emotional stability.” Although this definition mainly focuses on a child, the beginning part of it can also be applicable to spouses.

Both of these issues are multifaceted problems and they are placed into a larger category depending on the victim’s age.

The abandonment of a child is a criminal act when an authority figure, parent, or guardian shows no concern for the well-being, health, or safety of a child. Along the same lines, child neglect occurs when the necessities for a child’s well-being, health, or safety are inadequately or not provided by the individual who has the legal responsibility for him or her.

Some behaviors exhibited by individuals who commit child abandonment include:

• Leaving an infant or a child with someone else, alongside a street, in a trashcan or dumpster, or on someone’s doorstep without any intention of returning for him or her.
• Neglecting to provide sufficient or any support and communication with the child.
• Unwillingness to supervise, care for, or support a child.
• Long-term emotional neglect.

Abandonment or neglect in an adult can exhibit themselves in many different forms. Most commonly, these are senior dependent neglect and marital abandonment.

Marital abandonment occurs when a spouse exits from the marriage with no mutual agreement or justification, refusing to carry out his or her duties and responsibilities. Similarly, neglect occurs in a marriage in which one of the partners withholds support, sex, emotional interaction, etc. without giving adequate justification.

Some examples of neglect or marital abandonment include:

• Leaving a spouse without providing any justification or financial support.
• Dissolving connections with one partner’s family without justification or mutual consent.
• Continuously and regularly withholding sex without justification or reason.
• Refusing to provide care if a spouse has chronic health issues.
• Refusing to care for or provide support for children.

Similar to child neglect, another type of neglect is senior dependent neglect. This occurs when the necessities for a senior’s well-being, safety, or health are either not sufficiently provided, or not provided at all. This includes things like:

• Not providing adequate medical care, clothing, food, or shelter.
• Not providing adequate communication with a senior.
• Neglecting to check on seniors who cannot take care of themselves and are left home by themselves for long stretches of time to the point where their security or health is jeopardized.
• Unwillingness to supervise, care for, or support a senior citizen for whom a caregiver is responsible for legally and morally.
• Emotional neglect.

You may have experienced some of the aforementioned situations, and if so, it is crucial to find help. This is not something you have to go through alone. At Bellevue Christian Counseling, the counselors can assist you in finding ways through mistrust, grief, and pain so that you can find peace and healing.

It is well known that neglect and abandonment issues carry a wide range of consequences that can affect someone’s ability to make and keep relationships that are healthy and fruitful.

Some effects of neglect or abandonment issues in childhood include:

• Insecurity or chronic anxiety
• Unwanted flashbacks
• Poor self-esteem and self-image
• The tendency to isolate oneself
• Feelings of losing all control
• Depression
• Being obsessive about the abandonment
• Overly reacting emotionally to feelings of criticism, being left out, or being insulted
• Panic attacks
• Vulnerability during social situations
• Drug use and substance abuse

At Bellevue Christian Counseling, there are several licensed counselors who have the skills necessary to provide children’s counseling. Contact us as soon as possible if your child has been through abandonment or experienced neglect.

Effects of childhood abandonment or neglect commonly impact individuals into adulthood. Even though the abuse may have occurred earlier in their lives, counseling may be necessary.

Symptoms of neglect and abandonment issues in adults can include:

• Feeling worthless
• Severe insecurity
• Withdrawal
• The need for constant reassurance
• Drugs and substance abuse
• Poor self-esteem and self-image
• Self-harm
• Complacency

Along with the aforementioned effects, the effects of senior abandonment and marital neglect can also include:

• Confusion or disbelief
• Severe emotional pain
• Grief
• Self-doubt
• Shame
• Trust issues
• Hopelessness and despair

Abandonment and neglect typically have chronic effects on an individual’s relationships at each stage of his or her life. If these issues are not addressed, they may continue to tarnish relationships and make it impossible to make and maintain fruitful and unhealthy relationships with a spouse, friends, or relatives.

Even more important, these issues can cause difficulties with trust, including making it difficult for someone to trust God to not abandon or neglect him or her. Jesus promised His faithful disciples, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20b).

Jesus also promised:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11:28-29

Regardless of whether you have experienced abandonment or neglect from parents, children, caretakers, spouses, loved ones, or guardians, it is important to remember that God never leaves people who have faith in Him and that you can find healing through his Son, Jesus.

Please contact us if you are experiencing the effects of neglect or abandonment that occurred during your childhood.

At Bellevue Christian counseling, the counselors’ goal is to assist you in working through the lasting effects that you are experiencing after abandonment. They do this through counseling based on faith, which helps you find healing, hope, faith, and peace through Christ.

Is recovery possible if someone has experienced abandonment issues? 

Yes! These issues can be overcome. Abandonment and neglect issues are much more prevalent than people think, and victims typically have the ability to take a different perspective on life, God, and themselves that encourages healing both spiritually and emotionally.

How long do people go to Christian counseling for?

The length of time someone will attend Christian counseling varies from individual to individual because each person’s needs vary. Depending on the things individuals are currently struggling with and the amount of dedication they have to the counseling, among other things, the counselor they select can assist them in deciding what kinds of counseling might be most beneficial and the amount of time it may last.

What should I look for when seeking a Christian counselor? 

Of course, it is crucial to choose a counselor who you are willing to open up to and trust. You should seek someone who has experience with counseling individuals who have abandonment and neglect issues. Look through our counselor directory for more information on each counselor.

Ways Christian Counseling in Bellevue is Helpful

Christian counselors in Bellevue provide assistance that is needed to start the journey toward peace and healing. They create a comfortable and safe environment where you can open up and talk about your anxieties, fears, and experiences. They will assist you in processing the trauma that you are experiencing due to the issues of abandonment and neglect.

You are not alone when dealing with the lingering effects of neglect and abandonment. At Bellevue Christian Counseling, we aim to assist you in facing the neglect and abandonment so that you can overcome the effects that you are experiencing. For more information about the services we offer, you can contact us online or call (425) 939-6856 so that we can arrange a risk-free first session.