From the very beginning of contacting and meeting Erik, I felt listened to and comfortable. (As comfortable as you can be dealing with Abuse issues.) I had never really received a diagnosis and Erik was very good not to label or diagnose me.
He instead treated me like a person, a young woman. I was the one to first broach the topic of DID, though I put it in the first forms I filled out in a covert way. I mentioned losing time, attention span that wavered, panic attacks, and very protective of my self and my surroundings. As I got to know Erik, which really happened very rapidly because of his gentle, searching and patient demeanor, I felt free to share what my inner and outer worlds were like. I knew I had quite the inner dialogue most the time, I also knew I was experiencing lots of nightmares and sleeplessness. Most of the lack of sleep was due to not wanting to go to sleep because I would wake up in the middle of horrific memories and dreams. I had spent some time with a therapist in the past, about two years. She was wonderful at helping me to become stable and to take care of my family and kids to learn to control my anger. With Erik I was able to go into deep wounding of abuse in my child hood and early teenage years. I learned how to accept me as I was, with multiple voice inside or one voice it didn’t matter it was all me and I learned to love myself and to reach out to others, not to see myself as a freak but to accept me. I also learned a lot about my faith in Jesus, who he is, was and still is. I think that was vital to healing of me from parts to a whole, healing, healthy woman. Integration of my parts was actually very different then I thought it would be. I had a huge fear of losing parts of me. Losing myself. Instead integration was more of a “becoming whole.” As Erik worked with me, talking things through, talking to those parts, accepting all parts of me and even spending time with different parts of me playing cards, checkers, drawing, constructing with play dough, I became more aware of who I was. I worked and continue to work through some formative times in my life where I was deeply wounded and now accept it as having happened to ME, not to some part of me. I have stepped out of denial and survival to living and believing. I also became more caring for others. Interacting with Erik in a healthy relationship has helped me heal and reach out beyond my little inner parted world. I have hope now, in life now and in the future. I recently experienced the loss of my mom-in-law and usually a traumatic stressful time like that would have caused me to separate and hide once again to handle it. This time though with some very strong urging and nudging form Erik I didn’t do so. I stayed whole and am walking through my grief and sharing it with others so they can help me carry it. Erik holds grief with me and values what I feel and sense as I walk it out as opposed to avoiding it. Finally, Erik has been a vital part of my healing and continues to be
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