Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Abandonment Issues and Neglect
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • PTSD
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sex And Porn Addiction
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Christian Counseling for Children
        and Teens
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Sex And Porn Addiction
  • LocationsChoose from our variety of office locations
    • Bellevue Office FrontBellevue
    • Bothell Office Front EntranceBothell
    • Edmonds Christian CounselingEdmonds
    • Everett Office Front EntranceEverett
    • Federal Way Office FrontFederal Way
    • Hansville
    • Kent 2Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • LaceyLacey
    • Mill Creek Office Waiting RoomMill Creek
    • Monroe
    • Oak Harbor Office OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    • Puyallup Christian CounselingPuyallup
    • Redmond OfficeRedmond
    • Seattle Downtown OfficeSeattle Downtown
    • Seattle Greenlake 2Seattle Greenlake
    • Silverdale Office FrontSilverdale
    • Tacoma Office FrontTacoma
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    • Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind the best counselor for your needs
  • CareersBecome an affiliated Christian counselor
  • (425) 939-6856Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

6 More Core Values to Exchange for a Reflected Self

Bellevue Christian Counseling
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/6-more-core-values-to-exchange-for-a-reflected-self-2.jpg 300 200
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bellevue.jpg
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/cropped-cropped-seattle-logo.png
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Oct
2015
14

6 More Core Values to Exchange for a Reflected Self

Barney Armstrong

Codependency

In my previous article, I offered three prompters to help you create your own list of Core Values that can help you to overcome codependency. The intention in this is to
find something more stable than the changing emotions of others in order to gauge whether or not you are OK. This is what we naturally fall into from infancy and childhood, and, to varying degrees, we naturally tend toward codependency in our committed relationships. As a result, we crash when others fail to give us the feedback we need in order to feel validated. We get defensive, we counterattack, or we shut down and pout.

Developing Core Values: 6 Six More Prompters

In this article, I offer six more samples for you to use in order to develop solid truths about yourself from the Gospel. Relational conflict can provide a helpful stimulus, for it drives you to own and actuate in real-time the truths that you know on paper.

4)   If God is For Me…

Read Romans 8:31. If you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, then God is for you. God endorses you and wants you to succeed in your endeavors because your endeavors are centered on your being a disciple of Jesus.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

Such self-talk that can help you with any venture you are involved in. This includes relational ventures, such as when you are making an effort to go forward relationally with someone. This may mean becoming more intimate with your spouse, having greater respect for your kids, or showing deference to and creating camaraderie with your co-workers. Or it may mean the effort involved in showing respect to an errant boss or other authority figure, showing love to those who are mistreating you, or growing in affection and brotherly love for those you know at Church. In all of these situations, you can say to yourself: “God is for me in this; who can be against me?”

5)   He Will Perfect You to the Uttermost

Read Hebrews 7:25. All the flaws that you can possibly imagine having (and some that you can’t), are the objects of His redemption of you. He will perfect you to the uttermost – there are no caveats, no exceptions, no disclaimers … period.

6)   Jesus Has All Authority

Read Ephesians 1:20-22 and Matthew 28:18. It is important to understand that Jesus has all authority, and is sovereign over all rulers. This includes all of the little rules that you set up for yourself – all of your little economies by which you condemn yourself if you fall short. Yes, He owns all of the playing pieces and He trumps any of these little games you have set up for yourself. He overrides them when necessary, and without apology, because He is absolutely intentional about saving you. He is like a dog with a bone and He is not letting go.

7)   The Cross is Absolute

The Cross means that you are prepaid on everything. You can carry this knowledge into every relational encounter. You are OK at all times and this is dependent on the Cross – plus nothing else. It does not depend on your apology or on your performance. Knowing that you are prepaid, you can afford to confront yourself in mid-sentence with someone. There is no need to defend yourself and you are free to go forward.

8)   Remind Yourself of Your Intentions

Sometimes you need to remind yourself of your good intentions for the other. You may need to be clear on your concern for their welfare and the high regard in which you hold them. This is especially true when their anxiety or fearfulness is sending flak your way. This is love, which, as a disciple, should be your continual motive (or course correction). Remaining steady throughout the barrage can help to bring your good intentions to the surface.

9)   What Would God Say?

Sometimes people are abusive, abrasive, or just simply nasty to you. When someone says, “You’re stupid,” it can be helpful to say, “You know, Lord, I don’t think you would say that about me.” And then to add, “You’re always right, so I don’t need to chase this red herring, or spend any time being defensive. I can afford to care for this person, find out what hurts them, and genuinely bless the person who is ‘cursing’ me.”

Christian Counseling to Overcome Codependency

If you have not yet read it, look for my previous article in which I presented three other prompters to help you crystallize your own set of Core Values. These can help you to live your life from the solidity of Gospel truths, rather than floating on the sea of the whimsical feelings of others.

Discussing these values with a Christian counselor can help you to pinpoint where they should be showing up in your everyday encounters.

 

Photos
“30 de junio al . . .” courtesy of RFEBM Balonmano, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY-SA 2.0); “Crying and laughing,” courtesy of Quinn Dombrowski, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY-SA 2.0); “Asian Couple Sitting Next to Each Other,” courtesy of StockPhotosforFree.com

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this article are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please contact one of our counselors for further information.

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top
Photo of Barney Armstrong
Barney is currently not accepting new clients

Barney Armstrong

Licensed Counselor
(206) 701-9144 barneya@bellevuechristiancounseling.com

Life should be more than just pain and trials. Though they can serve a purpose, I believe that God has much more in store for you. My hope is to help you discover the wonderful joys and strength that lie beneath the pain and trauma you might be facing. Through Christ, we can conquer fear and find freedom, healing, and purpose. Whatever challenges you face, I offer you a safe place for you to discover all that God can do for your life. Read more articles by Barney »

Other articles that might interest you...

Exchanging Your Reflected Self: 3 Core Values
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Exchanging Your Reflected Self: 3 Core ...

Part 1 of an Overcoming Codependency Series As much we should avoid codependency – “Yes, let’s stay away from that…...

continue reading »
Building Self Esteem on the Wrong Foundations
Photo of Chris Chandler

Chris Chandler

Building Self Esteem on the Wrong ...

References Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformationby Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. Contentment comes in waves. There are some times...

continue reading »
spacer

About Barney

Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong, MA, LMHC

Licensed Counselor

Life should be more than just pain and trials. Though they can serve a purpose, I believe that God has much more in store for you. My hope is to help you discover the wonderful joys and strength that lie beneath the pain and trauma you might be facing. Through Christ, we can conquer fear and find freedom, healing, and purpose. Whatever challenges you face, I offer you a safe place for you to discover all that God can do for your life. View Barney's Profile

Recent articles by Barney

  • Aug 13 · How to Cure Depression: Is it Really Possible?
  • Mar 23 · Codependency Recovery: Two Expert Tips
  • Jun 26 · How to Forgive and Really Mean It: Part II
See all articles by Barney »

Related Services

  • Codependency

Barney's Office Locations

  • Photo of the Bellevue office

    Bellevue

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 939-6856
    330 112th Ave NE,, Suite 302 Bellevue, WA 98004

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Redmond office

    Redmond

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 250-6282
    8195 166th Avenue Northeast, suite 204 Redmond, WA 98052

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Online (WA only) office

    Online (WA only)

    General Office Number

    (206) 388-3929
    ,  

    View Office Details
Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2025 Bellevue Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
330 112th Ave NE,, Bellevue, WA 98004. Tel (425) 939-6856.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
We are open for business. In person and online counseling are available now.