A Back-to-School Routine for Your Child with Autism or ADHD

A back-to-school routine is helpful for all children, especially children with autism or ADHD. A routine will provide stability and peace. Children with autism or ADHD do not like to live a “go with the flow” lifestyle. Clear expectations and consistent routines help them remain calm, particularly when they need to adapt to something new.

School brings a lot of routines, but it is also new and ever-changing. Summer break can throw a whole family into a different routine. That’s why a back-to-school routine for your child is essential.

If your child has autism or ADHD, a back-to-school routine is essential. Children on the spectrum are known to have meltdowns when routine changes or unexpected things occur to change the plan. Creating a family routine will help with connection and minimize frustration for parents and children.

The benefits of a back-to-school routine

When considering mental health, routines are shown to be helpful in many ways. They provide these benefits:

• Minimized stress, anxiety, and fatigue.
• Better sleep and increased focus.
• Systems to maintain a healthy diet.
• Mitigation for behavior issues related to autism, ADHD, or OCD.
• Elimination of decision fatigue in daily life.

Family routines give parents and children connection and communication tools.

Check your dates

It’s back-to-school time once again. The stores are stocking notebooks, backpacks, and all the accessories for a new school year. Summer is flying by with long days in the sun and late nights for everyone. You know that the more structured days of school are coming. There are a few ways to help your family transition back into the school year routine with less abruption.

First, find the school start date. Every school district is different, so check your school’s website for information. Look for posted short days, long weekends, and seasonal breaks. Find out what you can about times for extra clubs and things.

Have a family calendar in an easy-to-see location. This is how you communicate to the family things coming up, as well as appointments and expectations (and maybe a meal plan). Let your kids see you add things to the calendar to help them prepare. You could have a child mark off the end of a day before bed. This helps your child visualize the passing of time.

Having a family calendar is a helpful way of keeping track of the different family member’s schedules. When there are multiple children in different activities, or parents juggling jobs and childcare, having a central station for organization and communication is a lifesaver.

Create a breakfast schedule

Simplify your mornings by having a consistent but varying breakfast routine.

Here is a sample menu:

Monday: oatmeal and sausage
Tuesday: bagels with cream cheese and other toppings
Wednesday: cold cereal, fruit, and nuts
Thursday: yogurt and granola
Friday: scrambled eggs and toast

If having cereal every morning is your preference, make sure there are clean bowls and spoons for everyone to find. Maybe on the weekend, you can plan a big family breakfast. Having a plan can eliminate the need to make decisions and direct independent children to help themselves.

Establish a bedtime routine

Having the bedtime routine settled before school starts will make the change less abrupt for a child with autism or ADHD. Ease into it a couple of weeks before the first day of school. If you have been letting kids stay up late and sleep in, gently shift them toward the desired bedtime in half-hour increments.

Plan your late nights. It could be Friday movie night or Saturday game night, but giving everyone something to look forward to helps the routines seem a little less autocratic.

The recommended hours of sleep for elementary school-aged children are nine to twelve hours. Depending on their growth spurts and activity levels they will need more or less. Middle-school and high-schoolers need about eight to ten hours.

Here is a sample schedule for inspiration:

If you need your child to start their day at 7:00 a.m. to be ready for school, then they need to fall asleep by about 9:00 p.m. for a 10-hour night of sleep. Starting around 8:00 p.m. they should get ready for bed.

8:00 p.m. Put away screens, get in pajamas, brush teeth, wash face, and last drink of water.
8:15 p.m. The parent reads a bedtime story, and conducts family prayer, and Bible reading.
8:45 p.m. The child can have quiet personal time in bed.
9:00 p.m. Lights out.

This is just one example, but the idea is to help your child wind down and prepare to sleep. You could start the process around 7:00 p.m., and maybe the child can have a longer quiet time in bed. Perhaps you want lights out at 8:30 p.m. Find a routine that allows your child to prepare for rest and allows sufficient hours of sleep for the growing minds and bodies.

Some sleep aids may be helpful. A playlist of soothing music can be soothing to a child with autism or ADHD. Noise machines that play white noise help some, while brown noise has been discovered to help ADHD brains in particular.

A couple of weeks of using melatonin can help some children settle into a rhythm of falling asleep at the same time. Take an hour before you want them to fall asleep. Research alarm clocks/night lights that change settings, which can remind children when it’s time for lights out and waking up.

Bible time for the family

Building a daily routine of prayer and Bible reading is a cornerstone of Christian family routines. Teaching everyone from babies to parents to prioritize a relationship with God can be built into the routines of life. It can be as elaborate or as simple as you choose. A daily routine can help train children to sit through church services. Think of it as a practice time.

Prayer

You can repeat The Lord’s Prayer with your children until everyone has it memorized. You can ask your kids if there are things or people about which they want you to pray. Model conversational prayer, intercessory prayer, and even silent prayer in front of your child. Read from prayer books to help establish a routine.

Bible reading

There are plenty of plans for reading through books of the Bible that are good for families. Read through the Gospels and let your kids ask lots of questions about Jesus. Pick a passage to memorize as a family, and review it each week.

Don’t expect your children to sit through every reading with perfect composure and astute comments. By making a habit of prayer and Bible reading you are filling their minds and hearts. Children take in a lot of information even when they don’t seem to be paying attention. Simply keep pouring in and pray that God will work in your child’s heart and mind.

Final thoughts on a back-to-school routine

Family routines will change with the seasons of life. Tiny babies who need naps, toddlers who are learning to use the toilet, busy years of taking kids everywhere, and teen years of increased independence. A family routine can adjust to all these seasons. Having a family routine provides stability and comfort from the busyness of the external world.

A routine is not a rigid schedule meant to control people. Routines should serve your family and be tailored to your family’s needs and personalities. There is not a one-size-fits-all model here. Creating a routine can give your family space for hobbies, interests, and relationships. Let the routine be a guide and let it go when it frustrates you, or be flexible and adjust to your family’s needs.

If you and your family are struggling with connection and communication, connect with one of our counselors for a family counseling session. If you have a child with autism or ADHD you may benefit from some individual counseling, and your child may benefit from meeting with a counselor as well. Our counselors are ready to give you the support you need through the changes and transitions of life.