Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Abandonment Issues and Neglect
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • PTSD
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sex And Porn Addiction
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Christian Counseling for Children
        and Teens
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Sex And Porn Addiction
  • LocationsChoose from our variety of office locations
    • Anacortes 1Anacortes
    • Bellevue
    • Bothell 8Bothell
    • Bellevue Christian Counseling 1Edmonds
    • Everett 8Everett
    • Federal Way
    • Kent 2Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • Lacey Christian CounselingLacey
    •  1Mill Creek
    •  1Monroe
    • Oak Harbor Office OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    •  1Puyallup
    • Redmond 3Redmond
    • Seattle Ballard 6Seattle Ballard
    •  1Seattle Downtown
    • Seattle Greenlake 10Seattle Greenlake
    • Silverdale Office FrontSilverdale
    • Tacoma 6Tacoma
    •  1Spokane
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    • Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind the best counselor for your needs
  • CareersBecome an affiliated Christian counselor
  • (425) 939-6856Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

Premarital Sex and Relational Problems: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective

Bellevue Christian Counseling
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/premarital-sex-and-relational-problems-a-christian-counselors-perspective-5.jpg 2048 1356
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bellevue.jpg
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/cropped-cropped-seattle-logo.png
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Aug
2014
26

Premarital Sex and Relational Problems: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective

Barney Armstrong

Infidelity and AffairsPremarital Counseling

Most unmarried people are having sex, and the majority of contemporary folks would probably agree that having sex before marriage is not only acceptable, but the norm. So, if that is the case, why is it important to get married, and what harm does having premarital sex do to a married couple?

Why Marriage?

Asking For ForgivenessMarriage is a public commitment to another person that takes the relationship to an entirely different level. Sex doesn’t require either person to have any real investment in the relationship. Yes, they are having sex, which is an investment of sorts. But it is not a bonding commitment. If you are just having sex, there is no obligation to stick together through thick and thin, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. Marriage deepens the level of commitment, and, as a result, the intimacy of the sex becomes much deeper.

What Harm Does Premarital Sex Do?

There is some truth to the notion that how you begin is where you will end. In other words, if you begin without honoring the importance of marriage as a pre-requisite for sexual intimacy, then you will find yourself in a marriage that doesn’t honor the boundaries of marriage itself. This applies not only to sex before marriage, but also to sex outside of marriage. But beyond the sex itself, if a commitment to marriage is not of first and greatest importance, then what reason do you have to think that the sanctity of the marriage will be most important in the future?

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

The Effectiveness of Ceremony

The ceremony of a wedding is a powerful reminder of the solemnity of the vows being taken. It is an honoring of each other that goes beyond the physical. A ceremony puts the focus on the spiritual bonds being tied. Without a ceremony, that focus is lost. Yes, two people can have their own ceremony alone. But the power of a public ceremony is the statement it makes to the world ̶ and to your spouse ̶ about your commitment.

Choices about Beginning

BARM 14057449345_6c90d7e594_kSo … what do you want to characterize your marriage? The wedding ceremony can focus on what matters most to you as a couple. In this way, it sets into stone a picture of the relationship to which you are committing yourselves.

A ceremony calls us to the ecstasy of relationality that marriage looks to, hopes in, and is infused by. Whatever difficulties you encounter in the future will be trumped by the ideals and hopes in which you have publicly rooted your relationship.

Alternatively, you could inaugurate your relationship with sex and therefore characterize it by a lack of commitment to the beauty and discipline of marriage.

Sex is appealing ̶ there’s no doubt about that. But marriage must be allowed to be bigger than sex. To honor marriage first, and sex second, is to ensure that sex takes its appropriate place in the relationship, which is behind, and subservient to, the marriage itself. Waiting to have sex until you are married ensures that this hierarchy is established. It seals your relationship forever, rooting it in the promise of marriage, and not simply in the pleasure of sex.

Take Advantage of Christian Counseling in Preparing for Marriage

Or you can contact any one of our Christian counselors. Bellevue Christian Counseling has trained counselors who can help you to ensure that you build a proper and lasting foundation for your marriage.

Photos
Images from Flickr Creative Common, Licsence (CC BY 2.0): ”Asking for Forgiveness,” courtesy of Vic; “leaves-tree-spring-growth.jpg,”  courtesy of r. nial bradshaw.

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top
Photo of Barney Armstrong
Schedule with Barney
  • Appointment Info

  • Your Info

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Barney Armstrong

Licensed Counselor
(206) 701-9144 barneya@bellevuechristiancounseling.com

Life should be more than just pain and trials. Though they can serve a purpose, I believe that God has much more in store for you. My hope is to help you discover the wonderful joys and strength that lie beneath the pain and trauma you might be facing. Through Christ, we can conquer fear and find freedom, healing, and purpose. Whatever challenges you face, I offer you a safe place for you to discover all that God can do for your life. Read more articles by Barney »

Other articles that might interest you...

Overcoming Our Relational Problems
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Overcoming Our Relational Problems

By Barney Armstrong, MA, LMHC, Bellevue Christian Counseling We are made in the image of a God who lives in a...

continue reading »
A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Christian Counseling
Photo of Erik Mildes

Erik Mildes

A Christian Counselor’s Perspective ...

People often ask me what “Christian counseling” means and what does it looks like. Many clients wonder if it means...

continue reading »
Pregnancy, Postpartum Depression, and Sex: A Christian Counselor’s View 1
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Pregnancy, Postpartum Depression, and ...

Pregnancy is the most intimate natural communion a human can encounter. Postpartum depression affects about a third of women after...

continue reading »

About Barney

Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong, MA, LMHC

Licensed Counselor

Life should be more than just pain and trials. Though they can serve a purpose, I believe that God has much more in store for you. My hope is to help you discover the wonderful joys and strength that lie beneath the pain and trauma you might be facing. Through Christ, we can conquer fear and find freedom, healing, and purpose. Whatever challenges you face, I offer you a safe place for you to discover all that God can do for your life. View Barney's Profile

Recent articles by Barney

  • Aug 13 · How to Cure Depression: Is it Really Possible?
  • Mar 23 · Codependency Recovery: Two Expert Tips
  • Jun 26 · How to Forgive and Really Mean It: Part II
See all articles by Barney »

Related Services

  • Infidelity and Affairs
  • Premarital Counseling

Barney's Office Locations

  • Photo of the Bellevue office

    Bellevue

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 939-6856
    330 112th Ave NE,, Suite 302 Bellevue, WA 98004

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Redmond office

    Redmond

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 250-6282
    8195 166th Ave NE,, Suite #204 Redmond, WA 98052

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Online (WA only) office

    Online (WA only)

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (206) 388-3929
    444 Northeast Ravenna Boulevard Seattle, WA 98115

    View Office Details

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2023 Bellevue Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
330 112th Ave NE,, Bellevue, WA 98004. Tel (425) 939-6856.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
COVID-19 Service Update: We are still open for business. In office and online counseling is available if needed.