When a couple is committed to one another in a caring relationship, there is a natural progression in their physical relationship that is quite surprising. Is it by design that the excitement and eroticism of interaction gives way to loss of desire and sexual boredom? A trained Christian counselor can help you recognize God’s design in this, and, instead of despairing, to get in sync with the valuable purposes behind this.There is a built-in dynamic to challenge you interpersonally — to pursue her, to seek and genuinely want him.
What to do When the Fire Has Gone Out
That requires a lot of you – so far the engine has always run on pleasure and erotic attraction. As that challenging new time unfolds in a committed relationship, you start to find that as you pursue him sensually, as you pursue her erotically, that a number of interpersonal features drive you to disinterest and (a word we shudder to admit) boredom.The vast majority of couples will simply despair, seeing this as a slippery slope, deterioration, a rut to accept as their lot in life – they will either divorce of live out a marriage at a low interactive level. The kind of difficulties you are having, in or out of the bedroom, and the emotional gridlock it produces is a normal struggle that can be worked through and supported in therapy. It is relieving to find that your marriage is actually right on track.
Marriage is the ideal crucible, driving you to levels of personal strength and maturity that you would otherwise avoid. Becoming a more mature lover involves growing up in our selves. That process may require you to tolerate anxiety, to soothe yourself at rough moments, and operate out of the best in yourself.
As you mature as a couple, you are able to be in greater alliance with your mate, and with greater integrity. You see the genius of how God designed your marriage when you find that with this, genuine sexual desire surfaces afresh,that genuine erotic attraction attends your new personal maturity and relational level.