Therapy for Teens: Who, When, and Why It Matters

Parenting a teenager does not come with an instruction manual. While there are most certainly highlights you enjoy about your teen, there are also times when their behavior makes you wonder if they could benefit from counseling. Therapy can give teens tools that they will use for the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately, it is still all too common to view therapy as a last resort. Here we explain why counseling is helpful for all teens, and how to know if it is for right now or later.

Therapy for teens: who & when

The teens in your life may exhibit erratic behavior. One day they are in a happy mood and the next, it seems that all hope is lost. They will not share what is bothering them. Some of this can be attributed to the developmental stage all teens go through, but how do you know?

Having a counselor by your side to walk your teen through these developmental experiences is a wise choice for all teens. Pediatricians can help too. Even if it seems like your teen is sailing through middle and high school, it is still good to check in with your child’s doctor.

They may not be encountering many issues with friends or struggles with emotional and mental health, but understanding the hormonal development they are going through at this age is helpful.

Talking to someone who is not in their peer group, or their everyday life, helps some teens open up, whether they are going through something or not. It can also give you, as the parent, peace of mind that you are not the only adult to which they are listening.

Who benefits from therapy for teens? Everyone. Not all teens need it immediately or for prolonged periods of time. Some teens need therapy in different ways, either through family therapy, group therapy, or specific therapy to help them recover from harmful habits such as cutting, substance abuse, or an eating disorder.

Is there an ideal time to begin counseling?

The ideal time is when you or your teen recognizes a need for help beyond what you can offer. It helps if you have been an available parent, talking to your teen about your willingness to listen without judgment or lecture, which can be hard for any parent to do.

Some red flags that would indicate it is time to start counseling may include changes in mood, activities, friendships, sleeping and eating habits, or even physical health.

If your teen suddenly stops their typical activities such as church, sports, or hobbies, you will want to take note. If they start skipping school or their grades plummet, this could indicate your child is struggling inside.

If your teen has shared concerning thought patterns or beliefs that seem not to subside, especially related to self-esteem or self-harm, it is definitely time to get help. Do not be afraid if you do not have the answers. That is a great indication that a counselor can help.

Also observe their friendships. Their friends might even alert you that they are concerned. Listen to them! Also be warned if you see signs of co-dependency developing or your child is getting too concerned about what others think.

Social media can also heighten feelings of insecurity. Certainly, waste no time in seeking help if your child is being bullied, whether in person or virtually.

If grades, sports, or getting into the right college is stressing them, a therapist can help them comb through the reasons why. If your teen is consistently overwhelmed with everyday life, expressing it through anger, a refusal to talk about what’s bothering them, or high levels of anxiety and pressure without healthy release, it is the right time to reach out for counseling.

Why therapy for teens matters

When your teens try to handle life on their own or even with a trusted friend, they may unknowingly think that they have to be the problem-solvers in their own life.

Yes, teens do need the practice of solving problems when they arise, but they still are growing and need the support of adults. Too often, the stigma around mental health and therapy has painted the picture that counseling is only for serious concerns such as addiction or dealing with the loss of a loved one.

If your child does not have a framework for how therapy for teens can fit into a regular, normal rhythm, it could be because they have not seen the need for it yet. If you have an over-achieving teen, many first-born children are, they may simply be in the habit of taking everything on themselves. The idea of asking for help may not even occur to them.

However, we all walk through seasons of life carrying a fair amount of stress, including teenagers. Therapy for teens means helping them look at their lives in the present to see what may need to change over time.

Therapy helps teens explore patterns of response to stress and pressure that they may not have noticed. It can also help them discover coping mechanisms that have served them well in the past and perhaps do not serve them anymore.

Other benefits of therapy include learning how to be vulnerable, what a safe person looks like relationally, and how to speak up when they feel overwhelmed.

Stress management and self-care techniques can also be an advantage of therapy. These are all soft skills that adults use and, sometimes, we forget to teach our teens how to use them, too.

Therapy for teens can provide an added adult in their lives who gives them the freedom to express what they believe and think. It helps them identify which thoughts and beliefs are rooted in truth and which ones are not and gives them tools for learning how to cope with life in healthy ways.

Certainly, if your teen is experiencing symptoms of depression, overwhelming anxiety that interferes with everyday life, addiction, disordered eating, or low self-esteem, counseling is urgent. It is also hopeful and empowering.

It may also mean that you have some sessions together as a family to help you better understand how your own responses to their stress or struggle impact on them.

How to get your teen on board

If you think your teen could benefit from seeing a counselor, the first step is to ask them a question.

The next time they exhibit concerning behavior or share something they are struggling with that causes you to wonder, ask them this: Do you think you would benefit from having someone else help, in addition to me?

See what your teenager says. He or she may need more information, time to consider the idea, or even a short phone conversation with a therapist to learn about what a therapist does. But if your teen is open to the idea, it can be helpful to meet once or twice with a counselor just to get a feel for what it might be like.

If your teen is reticent, it can be for a number of reasons. Teens struggling with serious conditions or behaviors, such as anxiety, depression, anger issues, or low self-esteem, may need your help to step in and suggest that it is time to see a counselor with more expertise than what you can give.

You can also let your teen know that you, too, would like to see a therapist so that you are equipped with tools not only to help your teen, but also to use in your life. This can reassure teens who are hesitant out of fear.

Other reasons teens may not want to go to counseling are that they have heard a friend’s negative experience, or they think it will not help. Encouraging your teen to try something new for a season of time is one way to look at it.

You can suggest that you and your teen visit a family counselor together, see what the counselor has to say, and then suggest a treatment plan with a certain amount of visits – say for six weeks – to let your teen know that it’s a short-term commitment that they can exit if they don’t feel comfortable.

What to Expect from Therapy for Teens

One way to help your teen be open to counseling is to help them understand what therapy is and what it looks like.

Walk them through it step-by-step, so they can process how it works. First, you meet with a counselor together to talk about medical and mental health history. The therapist may ask what brought you to seek therapy in the first place.

Next, the therapist will ask some questions and ask to schedule a follow-up session with either the two of you together or your teen alone while you wait outside or nearby. The therapist will ask about your teen’s social life, thought life, academics, and hobbies.

Together with your teen, they will look for patterns where there are unhealthy coping mechanisms. unhelpful beliefs and distorted thoughts. Then the therapist will give your teen some tools to help them learn healthy self-management.

We can get you started

Giving your teen context for therapy, why it matters, and how it works, is a great first step to seeing a trusted counselor. When you are ready, please reach out to us. We have offices near you where therapists specialize in seeing teens. We would love to help.