Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Abandonment Issues and Neglect
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • PTSD
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sex And Porn Addiction
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Christian Counseling for Children
        and Teens
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Sex And Porn Addiction
  • LocationsChoose from our variety of office locations
    • Anacortes 1Anacortes
    • Bellevue
    • Bothell 8Bothell
    • Bellevue Christian Counseling 1Edmonds
    • Everett 8Everett
    • Federal Way
    • Kent 2Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • Lacey Christian CounselingLacey
    •  1Mill Creek
    •  1Monroe
    • Oak Harbor Office OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    •  1Puyallup
    • Redmond 3Redmond
    • Seattle Ballard 6Seattle Ballard
    •  1Seattle Downtown
    • Seattle Greenlake 10Seattle Greenlake
    • Silverdale Office FrontSilverdale
    • Tacoma 6Tacoma
    •  1Spokane
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    • Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind the best counselor for your needs
  • CareersBecome an affiliated Christian counselor
  • (425) 939-6856Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

5 Ways to Help Your Friend or Loved One With Depression

Bellevue Christian Counseling
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/5-ways-to-help-your-friend-or-loved-one-with-depression-2.jpg 1707 2560
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bellevue.jpg
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/cropped-cropped-seattle-logo.png
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
Photo of Jennifer Hyppolite

Jennifer Hyppolite

Feb
2022
02

5 Ways to Help Your Friend or Loved One With Depression

Jennifer Hyppolite

DepressionIndividual CounselingRelationship Issues

Depression has been receiving more attention and help in recent years, from public figures coming forward about their mental health struggle to studies about the effect social media has on mental health. However, there is still a stigma to overcome when someone tells you they have depression. As you learn about others with depression, you can help relieve the burden that stigma has created.

Those who share that they have depression have often done a lot of work to say those words aloud. This battle was inside of them for a long time before they were able to share it with you. They might be afraid that you will judge or condemn them in some way.

5 Ways to Help Your Loved One With Depression

If you have not experienced depression yourself it can be a challenge to help those who are sharing with you that they have depression. If your first instinct is to make them feel better, that is an amazing gift. This article will cover five ways you can help your depressed loved one without pushing them away.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

1. Trust them

5 Ways to Help Your Friend or Loved One With DepressionIt took a considerable amount of courage for them to share that they struggle with depression. They trusted you with a weight and you should honor that by trusting them in return. Immediately jumping into fix-it mode is not trusting them.

You may want to begin a process toward healing. You might want to take them to the doctor for a prescription. Maybe you are reading this article right now because someone told you they are depressed and you Googled, “How to Help a Depressed Friend.”

The process of understanding mental health is a slow one. The fact that they shared this struggle with you is a big step. Acknowledge that they have made a big step. With each step, they initiate you can be their cheerleader.

You are being included in a journey to peace and joy. It is a long one and you will need to be patient through that journey. Show them you are willing to be there for the long haul by not rushing in to cheer them up.

2. Listen to them 5 Ways to Help Your Friend or Loved One With Depression 1“You have two ears and one mouth, so you should listen more than you should talk.”

This ancient philosophical advice rings true whenever someone is sharing about hard things. Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone who is struggling. It is important to listen without a plan. If they ask for advice you can give it, but don’t sit there just waiting to talk.

You may want to share Bible verses, truths from your life, or even pray. Wait until you are invited to talk. Ask more questions about them, rather than dumping advice on their shoulders. Sometimes they may want to talk to unburden themselves, other times it could be a part of the way they process. Your mouth and words may not be required, but your ears and heart being present can do a lot of good.

Listen to the desire for silence as well. There are times when a person who is depressed just needs you to be present without speaking. If they are comfortable around you without talking, consider that an honor. They are trusting you with their pain. Be gentle with them.

3. Ask what they need from you

It is tempting to make a list of things that could cheer your loved one up. Don’t get too hasty though. What cheers you up may be overwhelming to another. Most likely they will not be asking for cheering up, but support and sympathy. If they text you, “I’m having a hard day.” Your response could be, “What can I do to help?”

Sometimes the offer is enough to give them support. Other times they may have a specific action for you to take. Planning to get out of the house and meet for coffee, bringing them comfort food, or just checking in through the day could be what they need.

If both of you are Christians, you need to talk about what they want in terms of prayer and sharing Scripture. Many faithful Christians work through periods of depression and a barrage of Bible verses on joy and trust could be the opposite of helpful. Ask if they would like to hear words from the Bible, and then focus on choosing verses about comfort and love. Read Matthew 11:28-30, Psalm 23, and Psalm 126.

4. Don’t pressure them

Offering to help is wonderful, but you should not push someone to do things that they don’t want to do. Even if it was their idea in the first place. Maybe they said yes to going out for coffee, but when the time came, they withdrew. Be patient while you encourage and wait for them to be ready.

5 Ways to Help Your Friend or Loved One With Depression 2If they ask you to hold them accountable for taking prescriptions or going to therapy, have a clear understanding of what that means to them. Laying out clear expectations is good but will require constant adjustments. Do they need you to take them places? Do they want you to text every day or occasionally?

It is important to lay aside any type of comparison. In the mind of a depressed person, they are already convinced that they are failing compared to other people. You need to help them see their victories. Don’t keep a list of things they should be doing, focus on what they are doing. Celebrate the days they feel good and put them at ease when they have days they struggle.

5. Give grace to their limits

Whether you get up each day and make a massive to-do list or fly by the seat of your pants if you don’t have depression, you can accomplish a lot in a day. Those who struggle with depression face limits to their energy and motivation on any given day. Often it fluctuates. Set aside your expectations of what they should be doing.

You would not expect a person with a broken arm to catch a ball well, you would not expect someone with cancer to run a mile. Learning to understand their limits will be a huge help to them on their journey to healing their mental health.

Many Christians who struggle with depression have a rich faith. They learn to trust God through the darkness. Being a Christian is a journey in trusting that God is faithful in the hard parts of life. Limits to what they can handle as a Christian may include all the things you think could help.

If the idea of a Bible study is too much for them, be okay with that. If they don’t want to listen to your favorite pastor, don’t be offended. They are working out their faith not yours, so give them grace through that journey.

Conclusion

5 Ways to Help Your Friend or Loved One With Depression 3When someone in your life is experiencing depression and they choose to share that with you, consider it an invitation to love as Jesus would. He comes alongside each person he meets with compassion. He listens to the requests they make (Matthew 10:46-52), he accepts the limits they place on him (Matthew 8:5-13), he gives grace when they are afraid (Luke 8:46-48), he doesn’t pressure them to anything they aren’t ready to do (Mark 10:17-27), and above all trusts the ones who come to him (John 3:1-21).

As you walk alongside the people who have trusted you with their journey toward mental health, be curious, patient, and compassionate. This will give you the ability to share in the joy and peace that will come with healing.

Photos:
“Friends”, Courtesy of Erika Giraud, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Comfort”, Courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Friends”, Courtesy of Thought Catalog, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Wisdom from the Word”, Courtesy of Kelly Sikkema, Unsplash.com, CC0 License

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top
Photo of Jennifer Hyppolite
Schedule with Jennifer
  • Appointment Info

  • Your Info

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Jennifer Hyppolite

Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate
(425) 939-0087 jenniferh@bellevuechristiancounseling.com

As your counselor, I will ensure that you are heard and understood in every session. I am here to help you be the best version of yourself. My goal is to empower you to understand yourself in all aspects of your life and for you to use that knowledge to guide the path you take. I will ensure that the time we spend together is valuable and will allow you to grow as an individual and in the way in which you present yourself in this world. Read more articles by Jennifer »

Other articles that might interest you...

5 Ways to Repair a Broken Relationship
Bellevue Christian Counseling

5 Ways to Repair a Broken Relationship

Joy and pain are amplified in close relationships. When expectations are not met and trust is betrayed by one whom...

continue reading »
Understanding Depression
Photo of Erik Mildes

Erik Mildes

Understanding Depression

A Christian Counselor’s Perspective   As Christians, we are very likely to think of various things when we hear the...

continue reading »
5 Suggestions for Coping with Depression
Bellevue Christian Counseling

5 Suggestions for Coping with Depression

When we think of cartoons, we usually think of happy and funny characters doing dumb things. But, shockingly, not all...

continue reading »

About Jennifer

Photo of Jennifer Hyppolite

Jennifer Hyppolite, Ed.S., LMHCA

Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate

As your counselor, I will ensure that you are heard and understood in every session. I am here to help you be the best version of yourself. My goal is to empower you to understand yourself in all aspects of your life and for you to use that knowledge to guide the path you take. I will ensure that the time we spend together is valuable and will allow you to grow as an individual and in the way in which you present yourself in this world. View Jennifer's Profile

Recent articles by Jennifer

  • Feb 21 · Loneliness and Depression Over the Holidays
  • Dec 14 · How is Attachment Therapy Used for Adult Attachment Issues?
  • Nov 30 · Codependency Counseling: Struggling to Feel Wanted
See all articles by Jennifer »

Related Services

  • Depression
  • Individual Counseling
  • Relationship Issues

Jennifer's Office Locations

  • Photo of the Bellevue office

    Bellevue

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 939-6856
    330 112th Ave NE,, Suite 302 Bellevue, WA 98004

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Seattle Downtown office

    Seattle Downtown

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (206) 388-3929
    602 Valley St Seattle, WA 98109

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Online (WA only) office

    Online (WA only)

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (206) 388-3929
    444 Northeast Ravenna Boulevard Seattle, WA 98115

    View Office Details

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2023 Bellevue Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
330 112th Ave NE,, Bellevue, WA 98004. Tel (425) 939-6856.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
COVID-19 Service Update: We are still open for business. In office and online counseling is available if needed.