Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Abandonment Issues and Neglect
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • PTSD
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sex And Porn Addiction
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Christian Counseling for Children
        and Teens
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Sex And Porn Addiction
  • LocationsChoose from our variety of office locations
    • Anacortes 1Anacortes
    • Bellevue
    • Bothell 8Bothell
    • Bellevue Christian Counseling 1Edmonds
    • Everett 8Everett
    • Federal Way
    • Kent 2Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • Lacey Christian CounselingLacey
    •  1Mill Creek
    •  1Monroe
    • Oak Harbor Office OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    •  1Puyallup
    • Redmond 3Redmond
    • Seattle Ballard 6Seattle Ballard
    •  1Seattle Downtown
    • Seattle Greenlake 10Seattle Greenlake
    • Silverdale Office FrontSilverdale
    • Tacoma 6Tacoma
    •  1Spokane
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    • Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind the best counselor for your needs
  • CareersBecome an affiliated Christian counselor
  • (425) 939-6856Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

Growing in Community: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective, Part 2

Bellevue Christian Counseling
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/growing-in-community-a-christian-counselors-perspective-part-2-4.jpg 400 265
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bellevue.jpg
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/cropped-cropped-seattle-logo.png
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Dec
2013
26

Growing in Community: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective, Part 2

Barney Armstrong

AnxietyCounseling for TeensDepression
In a world where we feel more and more disconnected from others, finding a place that truly embodies community can be difficult. Yet the desire to belong and feel part of a group is a natural and important human experience. All of us long for that spiritual and emotional connection to others, but how can we find it? What can our families teach us about personal growth and community? And once we have found community, how can we challenge ourselves to grow in generosity toward others?

This is the second in a two-part series on personal growth in the light of community. In my previous article, I examined the natural human longing for community—and how God intends community to be a place where everyone belongs, where people celebrate, mourn, live, and strive together. In this article, I want to look at how relationships and community are related to our personal growth. Good relationships engender personal growth, but both community and individual development require intentionality. My hope is that this article will inspire you to determine whether your involvement in community empowers you to heal, grow, and live generously—this is what community can look like, and it’s what God wants for you.

The Power of the Family

In counseling we often see extreme examples of the power that family members have to harm a life. It doesn’t take much imagination to realize the effect a father, a mother, or siblings can have on an individual’s experience. Even if not directly affected, we all know stories of others whose lives have been dramatically harmed by those close to them. Family members have a special ability to hurt, and with a potency that would often be far less if the same thing were done by someone else. This is the basis of Daniel A. Brown’s book, The Power of Family,1. in which he argues that family members also have incredible power to engender strength and confidence, and to build up and do good.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

This power of the family appears to be part of our design. What is a dad supposed to be toward his kid? He’s supposed to see him or her on their tricycle for the first time and go: “Wow!  Look at you! Aren’t you incredible!” He’s supposed to see his little girl in her first dress and say: “Look at you Miss Lovely! Aren’t you wonderful!” Fill in the blanks with every other statement that delights a child, showing them that they are enjoyed and that their mere presence is a blessing. A mom’s power overlaps this. She has the special power to nurture and create security and warmth. Your parents and your siblings are the authoritative messengers that tell you who you are and how valuable you are. Is there anything missing here in your repertoire?

Intentional Growth

Image 1You are always growing – human beings are not static unless they have stopped breathing. But it is worth examining whether you are becoming more connected to your community and family, or whether you are growing away from them and becoming more isolated. Growth is sometimes automatic, such as in the case of children’s physical and cognitive growth, and, in some ways, their emotional growth. But growth beyond simple development may also require your help; it is something you need to be intentional about. Such growth is often not easy and may involve anxiety and challenges.

Growing in Generosity

This is what relationships are like. There is a degree to which relationships will grow naturally. But when they reach a plateau, or go a bit awry, they challenge us to grow personally if we are to continue in a relationship of closeness and connectedness. The initial easy part of a relationship is usually built on the kinds of skills for interacting that we learned as kids. But these skills become insufficient and we have to grow up and develop mature ways of interacting emotionally with others. This is also by design and is a normal part of life, and you will be challenged to grow in this way.

Learning to grow in generosity is also a normal part of life. That is, you should be growing in your sense of generosity toward others. This is not about money, or even about things, but about your growth in how you tolerate others, your patience toward them, and your understanding and willingness to care well for them while letting go of your natural fearfulness and defensiveness. If your relationships are not growing, you may need to look at your generosity and ask yourself how you can be generous in heart toward the other.

Christian Counseling as an Aid to Growth

This process of growth can be painful and challenging and you may wonder if you are on the right track. A Christian counselor can help you to look at these different aspects of your life as you identify areas of growth and deal with obstacles to personal development.

References

1. Daniel A. Brown. The Power of Family.

Photo Credits:

“Happy family enjoying holiday” by imagerymajestic; “Young Friends With Joined Hands” by imagerymajestic

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top
Photo of Barney Armstrong
Schedule with Barney
  • Appointment Info

  • Your Info

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Barney Armstrong

Licensed Counselor
(206) 701-9144 barneya@bellevuechristiancounseling.com

Life should be more than just pain and trials. Though they can serve a purpose, I believe that God has much more in store for you. My hope is to help you discover the wonderful joys and strength that lie beneath the pain and trauma you might be facing. Through Christ, we can conquer fear and find freedom, healing, and purpose. Whatever challenges you face, I offer you a safe place for you to discover all that God can do for your life. Read more articles by Barney »

Other articles that might interest you...

Growing in Community: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective, Part 1
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Growing in Community: A Christian ...

By Barney Armstrong, MA, LMHCA, Bellevue Christian Counseling What is life supposed to be like? We carry on with the...

continue reading »
A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Christian Counseling
Photo of Erik Mildes

Erik Mildes

A Christian Counselor’s Perspective ...

People often ask me what “Christian counseling” means and what does it looks like. Many clients wonder if it means...

continue reading »
A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Emotional Infidelity
Bellevue Christian Counseling

A Christian Counselor’s Perspective ...

Technology has become both a blessing and a curse in contemporary society. We are far more connected than previous generations...

continue reading »

About Barney

Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong, MA, LMHC

Licensed Counselor

Life should be more than just pain and trials. Though they can serve a purpose, I believe that God has much more in store for you. My hope is to help you discover the wonderful joys and strength that lie beneath the pain and trauma you might be facing. Through Christ, we can conquer fear and find freedom, healing, and purpose. Whatever challenges you face, I offer you a safe place for you to discover all that God can do for your life. View Barney's Profile

Recent articles by Barney

  • Aug 13 · How to Cure Depression: Is it Really Possible?
  • Mar 23 · Codependency Recovery: Two Expert Tips
  • Jun 26 · How to Forgive and Really Mean It: Part II
See all articles by Barney »

Related Services

  • Anxiety
  • Counseling for Teens
  • Depression

Barney's Office Locations

  • Photo of the Bellevue office

    Bellevue

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 939-6856
    330 112th Ave NE,, Suite 302 Bellevue, WA 98004

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Redmond office

    Redmond

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (425) 250-6282
    8195 166th Ave NE,, Suite #204 Redmond, WA 98052

    View Office Details
  • Photo of the Online (WA only) office

    Online (WA only)

    Washington

    General Office Number

    (206) 388-3929
    444 Northeast Ravenna Boulevard Seattle, WA 98115

    View Office Details

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2023 Bellevue Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
330 112th Ave NE,, Bellevue, WA 98004. Tel (425) 939-6856.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
COVID-19 Service Update: We are still open for business. In office and online counseling is available if needed.