Helpful Points for Bullying Prevention at School

Did you know that bullying can happen at school, at home or online? It is defined in a variety of ways but at its essence it is an intentional continuous misuse of power in a relationship.

It is expressed through repeated verbal and social behavior that attempts to harm in a physical, social or psychological way. It can involve one person or a group which misuses their perceived power over individuals who feel helpless to stop it.

What is bullying and what is it not?

Bullying prevention measures include the explicit understanding that it is not okay to be bullied, nor it is a normal part of growing up. Both of these myths are prevalent and need to be confronted head-on.

A key characteristic of is its repeated nature. It happens again and again through words and actions of others who want to cause harm. As bullying occurs via communication, it can happen online, and then predictably mostly via social media, or in person. And it can either be obvious or veiled.

The effects of bullying may an impact the in short, medium and long-term for all involved, including the perpetrator and witnesses. But note that single incidents or fights between equals, whether in person or online, cannot be defined as bullying.

Features and behavior types.

Bullying has three main features and four separate behavior types. The key features of bullying are: the misuse of power in a relationship; that it does not stop but is repeated; and it is intended to hurt and cause harm. Experts separate out these types of behavior into physical, verbal or written, social and cyberbullying.

Physical bullying is seen in the intimidation and forceful physical conduct of striking and aggressive pushing, causing physical pain, damaging or stealing of belongings, and includes threats of violence.

Verbal or written bullying is seen in mocking spoken or written insults primary aimed at a personal characteristic that is used to define the person.

Social bullying is also known as relational or emotional bullying and would include willfully damaging another’s social reputation, acting in a deliberate manner to exclude someone or spread false rumors about them. These actions will reduce the level of social acceptance experienced by the victim.

Cyberbullying is increasingly prevalent and includes all forms of bullying behavior which happens online or via a mobile device. This may be through direct verbal or written content received, threats of violence expressed as pictures, videos or recorded audio. Bullying communication can be received through verbal or written content, and it sometimes includes threats of violence.

What to do when bullying is hidden.

Some signs of bullying are plain to see and hear. Hitting and kicking, or insults and name-calling are obvious to all bystanders. If you are a parent or regularly exposed to groups of children of all ages, it is important watch out for signs of bullying and to discuss matters openly with them.

Bullying behavior that is hidden or surreptitious is far more difficult to prevent and combat. Indeed, it can even be confusing for another person outside of the direct interaction to recognize.

This type is characterized by movements of a person’s hand and intimidating eye contact. It can be in the form of exclusion, such as not acknowledging someone, turning your back to them, or preventing them from socializing with others.

Social bullying is when someone is the victim of having rumors spread about them or having their relationships with others manipulated so that they are excluded or isolated. This is often covert bullying.

Words or actions that are humiliating, insulting, and frightening may present as bullying, but are more accurately identified as harassment, which causes the victim to fear harm. Harassment can take many forms. A more commonly known form is sexual harassment, which is unwanted or unreturned behavior of a sexual nature that can reasonably be expected to cause insult, shame, or fear.

How to understand what is not bullying.

The unpleasant or distressing nature of behavior does not define it as bullying. A conflict that is centered around an argument rather than an imbalance of power cannot be identified as bullying. However, should the conflict change with one of the parties repeatedly targeting the other in retaliation, this may become bullying.

Neither is it bullying when stand-alone acts of viciousness or physical aggression take place or are directed toward many different people. Neither can experiencing social rejecting or dislike be identified as bullying either unless there are intentional and repeated actions or words with the express aim to inflict hurt, discriminate, or create dislike by others.

Are bystanders participants?

As we know, each one of us has the potential to be a bully or to be bullied by others. In various circumstances people make take on different roles. Typical participant roles within bullying include those who:

• Take part in bullying behavior
• Are the people targeted by those expressing bullying behavior
• Those who assist the bully and actively participate
• Encourage and give their tacit approval to the bully, re-enforcing it through their words and actions. Even if the vocabulary is not explicit, smiling, laughing or making comments can be seen as non-verbal and verbal tells that bullying is acceptable and should continue
• Can see and have knowledge that bullying is taking place, but for their own reasons are passive and neither participates nor supports the person who is the target of the bully’s attention.
• Someone who stands up for the person being bullied. In counseling terminology this person is named an upstander. In a school context they may be a student who draws the attention of a teacher to the problem or acts in a way that is supportive of the victim. Perhaps this looks like intervening by distracting the other students taking part in the bullying or directly supporting the student who is being bullied. Often these students play an important role on behalf of their peers who experience bullying. They have greater empathetic skills and often looked upon by their friends as a positive role model.

There are occasions when students who experience regular bullying also engage in bullying behavior of their own. Studies show that these young people are especially vulnerable and will likely need extra support and intervention.

Children and teenagers are in a phase of life where they are learning and honing their social skills. Each individual has the capacity to change, and no less the playground bullies at school, although being given and adopting a label makes changing much more difficult.

Experts agree that in a school environment every adult is in the position to display positive behavior – that of an upstander. And if they have knowledge of bullying between students it is important that effective action is taken. Ignoring it or viewing it as a right of passage or part of life, communicates not just to the students but also the school community that bullying behavior is tolerated.

Why are some students targets for bullies?

If bullying prevention is to be effective it is important to know various factors that make some students more likely to be bullied than others. Some of these are:

• Being noticeably different.
• Having an introverted personality and not practicing assertive communication.
• Not having strong friendships in a school environment.
• Being exposed to violence at home.
• Having a disability.
• Being part of a minority racial group.

What is the impact of bullying?

Like any discrimination, bullying has a detrimental impact on each person involved, including the families of those who are bullied.

Studies show that students who are bullied are more likely to feel disconnected from school and not like school. They will have poorer academic results, often miss school and are less likely to complete high school.

Their experience of being bullied makes them more vulnerable lowers their levels of resilience to the following:

• experiencing depression and anxiety
• feeling lonely
• having low self-esteem
• resisting peer pressure
• developing trust in others

Often those who are bullied have an increased risk of suffering from depression and/or drug and alcohol abuse.

Suicide is correctly linked to bullying. What places a person at increased risk of suicide are complex. In some cases those who are targeted by bullies or those who both practice bullying while being targeted by bullies have a higher risk of suicide.

Bullied students who bully.

Students who both are victims of being bullied while take part in actively bullying others are considered to be a high-risk group. Experts have found that they are more likely to have fewer friends, they will feel lonelier and have a reduced ability to start and enjoy beneficial friendships.

These students feel very disconnected from school and are more likely to internalize their feelings through depression and anxiety and let them play out through inappropriate behavior.

Impacts on bullies, bystanders and families.

Besides for not identifying and disliking school, bullies have less robust mental health later in life and display antisocial behavior such as fighting, vandalism and leaving school before grade 12.

Bystanders who witness bullying but have a passive reaction are found to be hesitant to go to school, to feel guilty for not acting and powerless to act, and are also subject to increased mental health challenges.

Families often feel powerless to in the face of repeated bullying as they feel they do not know how to best guide their child or how to approach the school. This increased stress impacts not just the parents but also the siblings.

Christian counseling on bullying prevention.

If you’re looking for additional help on bullying prevention beyond this article, please browse our online counselor directory or contact our office to schedule an appointment. We would be honored to walk with you and your loved one toward a place of healing and hope.