Long Distance Relationship Advice: 23 Tips from Those Who Have Had One

Every long-distance relationship comes with unique challenges, but with honesty, trust, good communication, patience, and effort, they can be just as healthy, strong, and rewarding as regular, in-person ones.

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, than close to you, but feeling really far away.” – Emma to Will (Season 4 of Glee)

23 Tips for a strong long-distance relationship.

Following are some tips from successful long-distance relationship couples that you can implement in your long-distance relationship

Stay connected.

Regular, consistent communication while you are apart is crucial. Make time for regular in-depth conversations over the phone or by video chat where you can hear each other’s voices, see one another’s facial expressions and body language, and connect on an emotional level.

Keep each other up to date on any new interests or developments in your lives. Also, share mundane details such as what you had for dinner, what your day is going to look like, whom you spoke to during your lunch hour, or the color of nail polish you are wearing.

Capture moments in real-time.

Share snippets of your life through photos, audio clips, or short videos. Forward things like a meme that made you laugh, or a link to an interesting article you thought your partner would enjoy reading as well.

Check in regularly.

Make it a habit to connect at the beginning and end of each day. Checking in to say good morning at the start of the day and goodnight in the evening before going to bed lets your spouse know that you are safe and sound and that he or she is on your mind.

Have something physical that reminds you of your spouse.

Tangible things that remind you of your spouse can be helpful. Think about what is meaningful to you. Things like a piece of clothing that still smells like him or her, his or her toothbrush in the bathroom, or a special something that reminds you of your commitment to one another, can all serve as proximal reminders of his or her presence.

Know each other’s schedules.

Knowing each other’s schedules helps keep you abreast of when your partner is busy and when he or she is free, so you don’t call at an inopportune time such as when he or she is in the middle of a class or a business meeting.

It can also help reduce unnecessary stress when there is an upcoming event such as a weekend camping trip or a work retreat that could potentially impact communication. Having a shared calendar is a good way to help you stay connected and included in each other’s day-to-day lives.

Be emotionally supportive.

Make sure to be there for each other even when you can’t be there in person. Talk about the things that are important to you. Show care and concern by asking about each other’s feelings and how you can support one another.

Meet in person regularly.

Even if it is hard to do, it is important to see each other in person regularly as often as possible and make the most of your time together. That does not mean packing your time together so full of activities it stresses you out. Downtime is also important to help you breathe and connect. Relationship intimacy is built through small moments such as quiet times at home as well. It isn’t about what you do as much as it is about being together.

Visit each other where you live.

Visiting each other where you live is important so you can see what each other’s day-to-day life looks like. Both partners need to do this. A fun idea is to hide little surprises for your spouse to find after you are gone, like love notes or small gifts.

Have an exact date for your next meeting.

Schedule meetings in advance. Always having your next meeting planned will give you both something to look forward to. This is also true of phone calls and video calls. You can still have spontaneous times to talk, but scheduling these is important so everyone knows what to expect.

Be fully present.

No matter how you meet, whether personally or virtually, be fully present and cherish your moments together. Share positive feelings every day. Fill each other in on your accomplishments and the good things happening. Make your communications count and talk about the things on your mind instead of letting them go unsaid.

Jot down little details after you talk.

Jotting down little details after your talk, such as an upcoming doctor’s appointment or a big business meeting, can help you keep track of what is happening in each other’s life. They can serve as reminders to follow up by wishing your spouse luck, or asking how it went.

Reassure each other verbally.

Frequently remind each other of your love and commitment, and how much he or she means to you. You may feel it is unnecessary to say this again and again, but it makes a big difference.

Address important issues before they have a chance to escalate.

Always be open and honest with one another about your feelings. Learn how to bring up difficult subjects and talk about and resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

Find things you can share in sync.

Find creative ways you can participate in activities together while apart. Some ideas include:

• Read the same book.
• Watch the same movie or show.
• Play a game online.
• Tour a museum on a live stream.
• Share a walk.
• Cook and eat a meal together via Zoom.
• Create a shared online scrapbook of pictures, notes, and keepsakes from your daily lives that you can both access and keep adding to.
• Do chores together, such as laundry or cleaning out the refrigerator, while video chatting.

Things like this can make the distance between you seem smaller.

Create a relationship bucket list.

Create a bucket list of things you are both interested in and would like to do together someday. Talk about when you can do them. You can even set dates.

Make each other part of family and friend gatherings.

Inviting each other to share in special events or get together via video chat can help maintain a sense of involvement and enable you to keep in touch with family and friends you would not otherwise get to see. It also helps both partners learn about the people in the other person’s daily life.

Schedule emergency visits when needed.

Let your spouse know you care by making yourself available to be there for him or her should he or she ever be hurt, sick, in trouble, or need you in any way.

Show your thoughtfulness in creative ways.

Try to do little things to make each other feel special and cared for, like surprising each other with a card, care package, or flowers for no reason.

Send handwritten letters to each other.

Handwritten letters are special and personal, and give you something tangible you can hold on to while apart.

Prioritize each other.

Weave each other’s needs into your day, and be intentional about responding to each other’s attempts to connect. If, for instance, you’ve scheduled a time to talk to your spouse, make that call a priority.

Avoid situations that could put your relationship at risk.

Feeling lonely or down about being distant from your loved one could lead you to be tempted to fill the void with someone or something else. Be aware of, and avoid, situations that could put you on a slippery slope.

Create a spiritual connection.

Seek God together and pray together. You can also do devotionals or read the Bible together, and even attend church together via a live stream of the service. Strengthening your spiritual connection will strengthen your relationship with God as well as with each other.

Look at the positives.

Look at the positives of being in a long-distance relationship, such as not taking each other for granted, enabling you to miss each other and remember why you wanted to be with one another in the first place, and having an opportunity to get to know each other better and strengthen your trust and communication.

Be thankful you have someone to love who loves you back, and enjoy the extra free time to focus on personal projects, develop new skills, pursue favorite activities, grow as a person, and spend time with family and friends.

If you have questions or would like to speak to a counselor regarding long-distance relationship advice or another issue, please give us a call today.