Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Abandonment Issues and Neglect
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • PTSD
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sex And Porn Addiction
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Christian Counseling for Children
        and Teens
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Sex And Porn Addiction
  • LocationsChoose from our variety of office locations
    • Anacortes 1Anacortes
    • Bellevue
    • Bothell 8Bothell
    • Bellevue Christian Counseling 1Edmonds
    • Everett 8Everett
    • Federal Way
    • Kent 2Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • Lacey Christian CounselingLacey
    •  1Mill Creek
    •  1Monroe
    • Oak Harbor Office OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    •  1Puyallup
    • Redmond 3Redmond
    • Seattle Ballard 6Seattle Ballard
    •  1Seattle Downtown
    • Seattle Greenlake 10Seattle Greenlake
    • Silverdale Office FrontSilverdale
    • Tacoma 6Tacoma
    •  1Spokane
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    • Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind the best counselor for your needs
  • CareersBecome an affiliated Christian counselor
  • (425) 939-6856Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions You Should Ask Before Engagement

Bellevue Christian Counseling
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/pre-marriage-counseling-questions-you-should-ask-before-engagement-3.jpg 2600 1733
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bellevue.jpg
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/cropped-cropped-seattle-logo.png
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Sep
2017
27

Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions You Should Ask Before Engagement

Larry Mark

Premarital CounselingRelationship IssuesSpiritual Development
Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions You Should Ask Before Engagement 1Marriage is the most important relationship in a household. Both research and experience bears this out. Children are more emotionally secure in a family in which their parents are secure in their own emotional connections.

Knowing how to make deep emotional connections is a learned skill. More satisfying marriages are often reported by those who participated in some pre-marital counseling for the insight, honing of relationship skills, and encouragement provided.

Important Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions

The following are typical, key pre-marriage counseling questions which can be addressed by pre-marital or pre-engagement counseling.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

These questions can be categorized in the following ways:  

  • Questions about Hopes and Purpose
  • Questions about Emotional Safety and Trust
  • Questions about Communication and Conflict Resolution
  • Questions about Family Backgrounds and Ongoing Effects
  • Questions about Personalities and Temperaments
  • Questions about Finances, Spirituality and Support for A Potential Marriage.

Hope and Purpose

  • Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions You Should Ask Before Engagement 2Why do we want to be married?
  • What expectations am I bringing into this marriage?
  • What do we believe about the purpose of marriage?
  • Do we have a vision for our marriage?
  • Do we both want children?
  • What values and potential practices would we bring into parenting?

Emotional Safety/Connections and Trust

  • Do I feel accepted and emotionally safe with this person?
  • Do I feel loved in this relationship?
  • Do I feel secure about our relationship?
  • Are we transparent with one another?

Communication and Conflict Resolution

  • Do we communicate in ways that lead to mutual understanding?
  • What happens when we fight?
  • How do we resolve our hurts and differences?

Backgrounds/Impact of Past on the Present

  • How have I benefited from my past?
  • How have I been wounded from my past?
  • What ways of responding to others am I bringing into the marriage?
  • How have I sought to address any past emotional pain?
  • Do either I or my significant other struggle with addictions? If so, how do they affect our relationship? How have we sought to address them?

Personalities and Temperaments

  • How do our personalities and temperaments blend?
  • What personal strengths do I offer to our relationship and what are my relational growth areas?

Finances

  • How do we both manage finances?
  • What do we believe about earning, saving, and spending money?
  • Can we afford with our combined income to cover our anticipated expenses?

Spirituality

  • How does our spirituality impact our lives and relationship?
  • What do each of us want regarding the impact of spirituality in our lives and relationships?

Support

  • Would those who know and love us support this marriage?
  • Who would we turn to for emotional and spiritual support for our marriage?
Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions You Should Ask Before EngagementThe answers to these questions can strengthen a couple’s commitment to be married. They could also help a couple discern whether engagement and marriage is desired.

Christian counseling can be the setting in which these questions are posed, addressed, and processed. Christian counseling affirms the primary of the marriage bond in a family.   A Christian counselor can give the couple via interview, use of assessment instruments, their self-report and the counselor’s own clinical perspective, an objective perspective on their relationship, strengths and growth areas.  Christian counselors can reinforce a Biblical worldview of marriage and relationships as well as provide ways to hone relationship skills.   If you think you and your significant other could benefit from a setting in which the questions in this article could be considered, please contact me.

References
Why Marriage Matters for Child Well-being,
David C. Ribar, Future of Children Publications, Princeton, 2015.Martial Satisfaction: The Impact of Pre-Marital and Couple’s Counseling,  Amanda Kepler, St. Catherine University, 2015.Photos
“Dream Come True,” courtesy of Oziel Gomez, unsplash.com, CC0 License; “In Love,” courtesy of Priscilla du Preez, unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Twirl Me,” courtesy of Clarisse Meyer, unsplash.com, CC0 License 

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top

Other articles that might interest you...

Important Questions to Ask Before You Are Married
Bellevue Christian Counseling

Important Questions to Ask Before You ...

Marriage is the first human relationship described in the Bible. Jesus affirmed the ancient definition of marriage as one man...

continue reading »
spacer
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

12 ½ Premarital Counseling Questions ...

If you are planning on getting married, you have probably been courting someone. In your efforts to be diplomatic, you...

continue reading »
spacer
Photo of Barney Armstrong

Barney Armstrong

Navigating Pre-marriage

Pre-marriage is a romantic time – a heady and exciting time and it is so by design.  It is also...

continue reading »

Related Services

  • Premarital Counseling
  • Relationship Issues
  • Spiritual Development

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2023 Bellevue Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
330 112th Ave NE,, Bellevue, WA 98004. Tel (425) 939-6856.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
COVID-19 Service Update: We are still open for business. In office and online counseling is available if needed.