Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Abandonment Issues and Neglect
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • PTSD
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sex And Porn Addiction
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Christian Counseling for Children
        and Teens
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Sex And Porn Addiction
  • LocationsChoose from our variety of office locations
    • Bellevue Office FrontBellevue
    • Bothell Office Front EntranceBothell
    • Edmonds Christian CounselingEdmonds
    • Everett Office Front EntranceEverett
    • Federal Way Office FrontFederal Way
    • Hansville
    • Kent 2Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • LaceyLacey
    • Mill Creek Office Waiting RoomMill Creek
    • Monroe
    • Oak Harbor Office OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    • Puyallup Christian CounselingPuyallup
    • Redmond OfficeRedmond
    • Seattle Downtown OfficeSeattle Downtown
    • Seattle Greenlake 2Seattle Greenlake
    • Silverdale Office FrontSilverdale
    • Tacoma Office FrontTacoma
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    • Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind the best counselor for your needs
  • CareersBecome an affiliated Christian counselor
  • (425) 939-6856Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

How to Maintain Abstinence With Sex Addiction

Bellevue Christian Counseling
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/how-to-maintain-abstinence-with-sex-addiction-4.jpg 1500 1125
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bellevue.jpg
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/cropped-cropped-seattle-logo.png
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
330 112th Ave NE, Suite 302
BELLEVUE, WA 98004
United States
Photo of Chris Chandler

Chris Chandler

Jul
2015
27

How to Maintain Abstinence With Sex Addiction

Chris Chandler

Individual CounselingSex And Porn Addiction

References
Sex Addicts Anonymous
by International Service Organization of SAA, Inc.

 

CHRISC 20150724 1418812_77341743

Sex addiction is different from substance addiction because the user is not necessarily addicted to sex, but rather specific sexual behaviors. There is hope. You don’t have to swear off intimacy forever.
So how do you strike the proper balance? How do you identify what will trigger a relapse, and what sexual activities you can enjoy safely? And how do you avoid setting your own standards so high, you’re only setting yourself up for failure?

Abstinence After Sex Addiction

Identifying your unique approach to abstinence is best done with the assistance of a more mature sex addict, such as an organizational sponsor, and a professional Christian counselor. Caring observers can help you identify weaknesses you may not have noticed, or been reluctant to admit. They can also offer helpful guidance about how to best avoid your specific sexual temptations.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

1.   Examine Your Sexual Behavior

Which behaviors do you repeatedly pursue that make you feel shame, and/or violate the rights of others? Which behaviors do you find yourself using as coping mechanisms or pick-me-ups during times of distress? These are the activities you want to keep in mind as you complete the next step.

2.   Chart Your Weaknesses

Take a piece of paper, and draw three concentric circles. Try to make them roughly proportional to one another, with the outermost filling most of the page.

Inner Circle
These are the most harmful instances of “acting out” your addiction. They are your biggest weaknesses. The activities or environments you absolutely must abstain from to avoid acting out. They may be harmful to yourself or others, run you the risk of criminal charges, or be financially unsustainable.

Middle Circle
These are less risky behaviors. They may cause you to act out; they may not. It may depend on the conditions. Think of them as the behaviors you would put a question mark next to while making the list for the previous circle. You may need to avoid them in times of emotional distress or difficulty.

Outer Circle
These are acceptable behaviors. They pose no risk of acting out. On the contrary, they enhance your life and recovery.

3. Attitude Regarding Abstinence

Keep in mind that these categories are not set in stone. You may need to avoid certain behaviors forever, but that is not true for everything. Think of it like being on a diet. You abstain from certain foods in order to achieve a certain health goal. You may want to slim down, weaken sugar cravings, or bulk up for a certain fitness regimen. But it doesn’t mean you eat like that forever.

It’s the same with sex addiction-related abstinence. You establish certain boundaries because that is what you need under the current circumstances. But that may change in the future as you learn more about your unique challenges, and as your approach to sex changes with time.

CHRISC 20150724 5569114950_891fc3a763_b4. Modifying Your Approach to Abstinence

While your system of abstinence is not set in stone, that doesn’t mean you should change it whenever the mood strikes you. After all, that slippery slope is how you became so embedded in your problems in the first place. If you feel it’s time for you to move any behaviors outward in the chart, consider consulting the advice of a more mature sex addict, or a professional Christian counselor first. They can help you determine whether you are truly mature enough for the change, or if you’re just trying to cheat on your diet.

Christian Counseling and Sexual Abstinence

If you struggle with sex addiction, or are unsure how to go about establishing your own abstinence regimen, consider getting in touch with a professional Christian counselor. They will use biblical principles and therapeutic techniques to help you understand your unique addictive weaknesses, and how to modify your approach to sex to avoid relapse.

Photos

“Walking Away,” Courtesy of Korry B, Image ID 1418812, Freeimages.com; “Days of Summer,” by Suketu Gajjar, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0)

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this article are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please contact one of our counselors for further information.

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top
Photo of Chris Chandler
Schedule with Chris
  • Appointment Info

  • Your Info

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Chris Chandler

Licensed Counselor and Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist
(425) 533-0007 chrisc@bellevuechristiancounseling.com

Have you ever struggled with doubt, failure, or addiction? I have, and I know that redemption is possible through Christ. My hope for you is to find healing and wholeness. I’m honored to use my experiences and faith to help you reclaim and fortify your life though faith-based counseling. Whatever you’ve been through, I offer you a safe and understanding place where you can find your path to freedom. Together, we can discover lasting and positive change though the love, mercy, and grace of Christ. Read more articles by Chris »

Other articles that might interest you...

spacer

spacer

What Causes Sex Addiction? A Sexual Addiction Counselor’s Perspective
Photo of Chris Chandler

Chris Chandler

What Causes Sex Addiction? A Sexual ...

By Chris Chandler, MA, LMHC, CSAT-C, Seattle Christian Counseling References “Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction” by Patrick Carnes, Ph....

continue reading »

About Chris

Photo of Chris Chandler

Chris Chandler, MA, LMHC, CSAT

Licensed Counselor and Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

Have you ever struggled with doubt, failure, or addiction? I have, and I know that redemption is possible through Christ. My hope for you is to find healing and wholeness. I’m honored to use my experiences and faith to help you reclaim and fortify your life though faith-based counseling. Whatever you’ve been through, I offer you a safe and understanding place where you can find your path to freedom. Together, we can discover lasting and positive change though the love, mercy, and grace of Christ. View Chris's Profile

Recent articles by Chris

  • Dec 23 · Stronger Self-Esteem Through Vulnerability
  • Dec 22 · Replacing Shame with Authenticity
  • Nov 25 · Letting Go of Fear
See all articles by Chris »

Related Services

  • Individual Counseling
  • Sex And Porn Addiction

Chris's Office Locations

  • Photo of the Online (WA only) office

    Online (WA only)

    General Office Number

    (206) 388-3929
    ,  

    View Office Details
Bellevue Christian Counseling Logo
Bellevue Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2025 Bellevue Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
330 112th Ave NE,, Bellevue, WA 98004. Tel (425) 939-6856.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
We are open for business. In person and online counseling are available now.