Affairs and Infidelity

Few things are as devastating to a marriage as an affair. On one side of things you have the offending spouse who feels intense shame, and likely promises it will never happen again. In the case of sexual addiction, they might very well mean this promise, but sticking to it can be difficult. For people who struggle in this way, the bondage can be extremely strong even though very few report feeling in any way satisfied by the infidelity and in fact, up to 56% were happy in their marriage. On the other side of things is the betrayed spouse, who will have an understandably difficult time believing these promises or understanding the heavy burden of sexual addiction.

When healing from sexual addiction and infidelity, the path ahead can seem rough. We are here to help you channel a path of faith and healing through Christ.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3: 5-6

Every couple experiences the effects of sexual addiction a little differently, and the same is true for affairs and infidelity recovery. At Bellevue Christian Counseling, we are here to help you in your unique story so that we can work towards a recovery plan that will work for you. We believe in the boundless promises and patience of Jesus and the grace He extends for healing and restoration. He can use your pain and weakness as a tool for building you up into stronger, more whole versions of yourself so that you can become all God created you and your marriage to be. With faith as a cornerstone for healing and evidence-based tools for recovery, rebuilding your relationship is possible. The work of doing this involves:

• Accountability – The involved partner must hold themselves responsible for their actions while empathizing with the devastation it caused their spouse.
• Willingness to start a new – This can be the hardest part, but for true healing, the betrayed spouse must risk future hurt by doing their best to work towards a new start. In time, this gets easier as the involved spouse works diligently to restore trust.
• Ask and answer questions – The involved spouse must be willing to answer questions pertaining to the affair during counseling. The betrayed will learn how to ask healthy questions rather than using harsh accusations and other damaging language.
• Set realistic expectations – On the part of the betrayed partner, this means understanding that healing sex addiction is a process, not very different from chemical dependency, and is a real illness. It helps to realize that there is a bigger picture in which your spouse is repentant and doing his or her best to do right can help you find peace. On the other hand, the involved spouse needs to evaluate his or her unhealthy expectations of marriage sex.
• Forgiveness – Through Christ, we can find hope for a full recovery through faith, better understanding and new perspectives, healing, and finally forgiveness.

The road to recovery from sexual addiction and infidelity can seem too difficult to bear. We hope that you will work with us so that you can experience the same healing that we’ve seen many couples find through Christian counseling.

In general, about 22% of men and 15% of women admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives. Of these, 56% of men and 34% of women said they were happy in their marriage.

If Your Marriage Has Suffered Because of An Affair, We Are Here to Help. Contact Us to Learn More.

If you’re ready to start Christian couples counseling for sexual addiction and infidelity recovery, give us a call at 425-939-6856 or contact us online to schedule your appointment.