How to Let Go of Perfectionism
Madison Fergerstrom
Perfectionism is a common struggle, and it can feel like a trap you can’t escape. If others have told you they are concerned about your pursuit of perfectionism, you may need to consult with a compassionate Christian counselor for a new perspective on grace.
The Trap
None of us can be perfect all the time. Many of us try, but we crumble under the pressure. Our health and relationships with God and people may suffer when perfectionism is our main goal.
The problem with perfectionism is that it never lasts. There will always be more dishes or clothes to wash, floors to sweep, and food to cook. Our bodies age, our clothes wear out, and our cars and homes need constant upkeep. No one is powerful enough to keep everything perfect all the time.Think about this: God knows that we live in a sinful world now. We are all born sinful, and we cannot escape sin’s curse outside of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Only God is perfect, but he welcomes many imperfect people into his kingdom out of his abundant grace. By rejoicing in this truth, we can begin to let go of perfectionism.
Letting Go of Perfectionism
People who suffer from perfectionism often have unhealed hurts. Perhaps your parents expected too much from you as a child. Maybe you experienced trauma or shame, and you strive now to never return there again by choosing the cover of perfectionism. Some of us have been conditioned to be perfectionistic due to cultural pressures. Others of us are naturally wired to be more perfectionistic due to personality traits.
To let go of perfectionism once and for all, you need to accept God’s grace in those unhealed areas. His grace accepts you as you are and doesn’t expect perfection from you. God wants you to let go of perfectionism so you can embrace his grace.
It’s difficult to let go of perfectionism on your own. A caring Christian counselor can help you. Your counselor will help you explore unhealed places and replace the lies you’ve believed with the truth of God’s Word. Many perfectionists also have a harsh inner critic, and your counselor can help you reprogram your thoughts with the power of the Bible.
With a counselor’s help, you can start taking baby steps to let go of perfectionistic tendencies. For example, a mom of young children can start teaching them to pick up their toys instead of doing it herself. She can learn to accept that not everything gets put back in the place she considers to be “right,” but rejoice in the fact her children are learning to be responsible with their things.
Letting go of perfectionism isn’t a one-and-done task. It’s a day-by-day, moment-by-moment decision to choose God’s grace instead of bondage to lies. Since this is a complicated task, you may benefit by getting help from a qualified Christian counselor, who will coach you on making healthy decisions.
Bible Verses to Help You Become Less Perfectionistic
You can use Bible truths to let go of perfectionism. Every time you are tempted to be perfect, meditate on one of these verses instead. Choose God’s grace, and you’ll gain greater peace.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
Do you hear the comfort in Jesus’ words? He wants to lift the heavy load of perfection off you. He will teach you how to choose grace instead. You will no longer be burdened by perfectionism when you surrender it to Jesus.
For you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. – 1 Peter 2:9
Many people with perfectionistic tendencies struggle with self-worth. This verse can reprogram your thinking. God chooses you and treasures you. He wants to lead you toward the light of grace, out of the darkness of perfectionism.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. – Psalm 139:14
If you struggle with self-worth, as many perfectionists do, this verse can be encouraging. You don’t have to prove your worth to God or others. He created you with worth because you are his child. You can rest in his love and his grace.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – 2 Corinthians 5:17
As a follower of Christ, you are a new creation. This means you can choose a new path, free from the perfectionism of your past. God wants you to step into a new life filled with joy and grace. Will you follow his lead?
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. – Ephesians 2:8
Many perfectionists feel they must earn favor with God. Yet this verse makes it clear that only grace saves us. We cannot do anything to earn it. We can simply accept it with delight and gratitude, trusting in God to provide for all our needs. Accepting this grace will change your life for the better.
Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for him.” – Lamentations 3:22-24
Every morning, you can approach God for another dose of compassion and grace. He sees your mistakes, but he also sees your progress. Trust in him and wait for him to supply answers to your prayers. You can continually go to him for a new direction in how to let go of perfectionism.
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So, I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. – Galatians 2:20
Remember, you are not on your own as you let go of perfectionism. Christ lives in you as a believer. Trust in him to help you day by day. Reflect on the fact that the old you is gone, and the new you has Christ Jesus living on the inside, giving you his grace and power.
Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. – Romans 15:7
God wants you to let go of perfectionism by accepting the flaws of others and choosing to love them anyway. God is glorified as you submit to this process of spiritual growth. He will bless you and show you favor as you seek him for help.
Help for Letting Go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a complicated problem with deep roots. You may not be able to overcome it by yourself, and there is no shame in reaching out for help. The caring counselors at [location] Christian Counseling have the tools to help you let go of perfectionism and choose a grace-filled life. Contact us today to set up your initial appointment. We’re happy to help you on your journey of faith in the Lord.
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