When Someone Else’s Trauma Affects You: Where to Find PTSD Help for Secondary Trauma

We typically think of trauma as something that happens directly to us and that PTSD only happens to those who’ve lived through something terrifying. There’s another kind of trauma that’s harder to understand; one that affects people who spend their time helping, listening, or supporting others through painful experiences. It’s called secondary trauma, and it can leave you feeling drained, anxious, or emotionally raw, even if the trauma wasn’t yours to begin with.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling unsettled or found yourself thinking about someone else’s pain long after they’ve shared it, you’re not imagining things. You may not understand why, especially if nothing happened to you directly, but your body and mind are reacting to someone else’s stress. That’s why PTSD help is just as important for people supporting others as it is for those who’ve lived through trauma themselves.

This article is for the person who’s always been the listener, the helper, the one others lean on. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel emotionally off even though you haven’t lived through trauma yourself, this is a good place to start.

What is secondary trauma?

Secondary trauma happens when you’re regularly exposed to someone else’s pain. You may hear about what they’ve been through, watch them struggle, or carry the pressure of being their support system. You might be a partner, a caregiver, a teacher, a counselor, a nurse, or simply someone who people turn to when life gets hard.

Over time, hearing difficult stories or witnessing someone’s pain can start to affect your own mental and emotional health. You may not have experienced the trauma yourself, but your brain and body still react as if you had.

Some people feel numb, disconnected, or even guilty for feeling affected when they weren’t the ones who lived through the trauma. These reactions are common, and they’re a sign that your body and mind are trying to process something too much to carry alone. It’s a real emotional strain, and it deserves care and attention. Secondary trauma doesn’t always feel obvious. It can sneak in quietly and affect your daily life.

You don’t have to work in healthcare or counseling to feel this kind of stress. Some situations don’t seem traumatic on the surface, but they still leave a mark. There are many everyday situations that can affect your emotional health over time.

Common Situations That Lead to Secondary Trauma

• Listening to a loved one talk about abuse, illness, or grief.
• Helping someone through addiction or recovery.
• Being the person others come to during a crisis.
• Reading or watching upsetting news regularly.
• Working in jobs where painful stories are part of the day.
• Being in therapy or support groups with someone else.
• Helping someone deal with legal, financial, or safety concerns.

Even if these things feel normal in your life, they can quietly wear you down. If you’ve been through this and feel emotionally off-balance, it’s a good time to look for PTSD help that focuses on secondary trauma.

How Faith and Community Support Can Ease the Burden

When you’re carrying someone else’s pain, it helps to have a place where you feel safe, heard, and supported. Faith communities can offer that kind of space. Whether it’s through prayer, small groups, or quiet reflection, spiritual support reminds you that you don’t have to carry everything alone. Sharing your experience with trusted people, whether it’s a pastor, a friend, or a counselor, can bring comfort and clarity.

Community support also helps you feel less isolated. Talking with others who understand what it’s like to care deeply for someone in pain can make a big difference. You may find that others have gone through similar experiences and have found ways to stay grounded. If you’re part of a church or faith-based group, consider reaching out.

Signs You Might Be Carrying Someone Else’s Trauma

• You feel emotionally worn out after listening to someone’s story.
• You keep thinking about things people told you, wondering if you said or did the right thing.
• You feel anxious or unsettled without knowing exactly why.
• You avoid certain conversations or people because they feel too intense.
• You stop enjoying things you used to.
• You feel like it’s your job to fix someone else’s pain.
• You’re having trouble sleeping, eating, or focusing.

These signs don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. They mean your heart is deeply involved. But even when you care about someone else, your own well-being still matters.

Why You Deserve PTSD Help Even If It’s Not Your Trauma

It’s easy to downplay your own needs when someone else’s pain feels bigger. You might tell yourself, “I wasn’t the one hurt,” or “They’ve been through worse.” You may feel like you don’t have the right to feel this way. But trauma doesn’t work that way. Your nervous system responds to stress, fear, and emotional intensity, whether the experience was yours or someone else’s.

Getting PTSD help doesn’t mean you’re taking anything away from the person you care about. It means you’re giving yourself what you need so you can keep supporting them without running yourself down. When you take care of your emotional health, you’re steadier, more present, and less likely to feel lost in someone else’s pain.

You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable to reach out. If you’ve noticed changes in your mood, energy, or relationships, it’s okay to ask for help. Healing from secondary trauma starts with recognizing that your pain matters too.

Small Ways to Care for Yourself While Helping Others

• • Take breaks from intense conversations when you need to.
  • Spend time doing things that calm or refresh you.
  • Set limits on how much time you give to others each day or week.
  • Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
  • Cut back on news, videos, or books that leave you feeling upset.

• Practice deep breathing, prayer, or quiet time.
• Remind yourself that your needs matter too.

These are small things, but they add up. They help you stay steady and remind you that your own health isn’t something to push aside.

Where to Find PTSD Help for Secondary Trauma

Finding the right kind of support makes a big difference. Not all therapists or counselors are trained to recognize secondary trauma, so it helps to look for someone who understands the unique challenges of caregiving, listening, and emotional support.

Start by exploring trauma-informed professionals who specialize in understanding how trauma affects the brain and body, even indirectly. You can also look for counselors who work with caregivers, first responders, teachers, or ministry leaders. These professionals are more likely to understand the emotional toll of helping others. They can help you untangle what you’re feeling and teach you how to care for yourself while still being there for others.

If you’re also looking for faith-based support, this website offers a list of professionals who understand the connection between your emotional and spiritual health. Many of them offer PTSD help tailored to your personal needs, whether it’s one-on-one sessions, group support, or simply a safe place to talk. PTSD help isn’t just for those with painful pasts. It’s also for anyone who’s been affected by the weight of someone else’s pain.

When you’re ready to learn more about how to care for your emotions, take a look at the resources on this website. Secondary trauma is real, and it can affect your life even if nothing terrible happened to you personally.

If this sounds familiar, it’s a good time to reach out for help. PTSD help is available for people who care deeply. If you’re looking for someone who understands what you’re going through, check the resources available on this website or speak with a counselor who works with caregivers and helpers.