The Value of Creating and Using an Anger Thermometer

Although we do our best to understand our feelings and those of our loved ones and respond appropriately, at times it can be difficult to regulate our emotions and stay calm when a conversation or situation begins to escalate. One way we can do this is by using an anger thermometer.

What is an anger thermometer?

An anger thermometer is a visual tool that helps an individual identify how much anger they’re feeling at a given moment. Unlike a regular thermometer that can accurately measure one’s body temperature to determine if all is okay or if you have a fever, an anger thermometer is definitely more subjective and will be unique to each individual.

In addition to indicating how angry one feels, an anger thermometer can also indicate how best to respond given the level of anger being experienced. Everyone experiences anger differently, and our descriptions of it and reactions to it vary as well.

Some people experience the entire range of anger, from its mildest form of irritation to annoyance, frustration, fury, and even blinding rage. Others perhaps have never felt anything they would describe as rage or intense anger. An anger thermometer for the first person described would have all the gradations of anger represented on it, while the thermometer for the latter might have fewer levels of anger notated.

Anger thermometers are visual tools, typically created on poster-sized paper and are usually designed to look like traditional mercury glass thermometers. They are often colorful, utilizing different colors and shades to indicate the different levels of anger. They can also be numbered from 1 to 10, with 10 representing the highest level of anger.

Colors correspond to the level of anger one feels, with green indicating feeling good or okay, yellow indicating annoyance, amber indicating frustration, orange or red indicating anger, and the deeper reds indicating feeling furious or exploding with anger. Anger thermometers can be used by adults with anger challenges, as well as by children. They are a simple visual reference that allows for a quick emotional check-in.

If you’re using an anger thermometer for your child, it may be helpful to have an accompanying chart where you can record what occurred that week. At the end of each week, you can sit down with your child and discuss what common patterns emerged, how they handled their anger that week, what they found helpful and unhelpful to calm angry feelings, and what they could do differently in the future. In this way, an anger thermometer is a tool to facilitate constructive, ongoing conversations about difficult emotions and how best to deal with them.

The value of an anger thermometer

There are many uses for an anger thermometer, and it is a valuable tool that can aid relationships. Here are some of the ways an anger thermometer is helpful:

Giving you the means to describe what you’re feeling

Part of the construction of an anger thermometer involves talking through with a parent, teacher, or counselor the kinds of things that make you or your child angry, describing what that feeling is like, and then noting a few suggestions of what to do to calm down and deal constructively with those feelings, like taking a walk or a few deep breaths.

For example, when your child is feeling angry, he or she can quickly point at the thermometer and tell you how angry he or she feels. That tells you immediately how best to proceed. You can talk your child through his or her feelings and make suggestions for how best to calm down and articulate his or her needs.

For an adult, having the thermometer can help communicate how you’re feeling. Others have a better understanding of what’s going on with you emotionally, and they can respond in a supportive manner as you’re taking steps to regulate your emotions and interact in a more constructive manner.

Accountability

Particularly with adults, but also with children, an anger thermometer helps with accountability, because it is created ahead of time with the hope and understanding that it will help with identifying, processing, and regulating anger. As such, the thermometer can be an accountability tool that helps you respond as you said you would.

Helping you respond to anger appropriately

It can be challenging to respond rather than react, particularly when dealing with anger and the heat of the moment. An anger thermometer will often have suggestions of things to do when you’re at certain levels of anger. This will help you respond appropriately.

Guiding others’ actions

Unfortunately, none of us are mind readers, but a tool like an anger thermometer helps others understand what’s going on with you. Not only will they know how angry you may be feeling, but they can guide you through your deep breathing exercises if that’s what you need right now, or they can give you space to take a walk if that will help you.

Let you know what your triggers are

As you use your anger thermometer and update it where necessary, you’ll begin to see patterns emerging about what makes you angry and how angry it makes you. If, after talking with a particular person, you find that you’re typically at an anger level of seven or bright red, that’s a good sign that person triggers your anger in some way.

The next time you’re about to talk with that person, you anticipate potential problems, and you can take steps to regulate your emotions in advance, like breathing exercises or other mindfulness strategies.

Using an anger thermometer assists in the development of emotional awareness and the skills needed to make emotionally intelligent choices. This will cultivate more fulfilling relationships and a better quality of life for those struggling with anger.

Creating your anger thermometer

Creating your anger thermometer requires some soul-searching and self-awareness to design one that will be the most effective for you. It can be helpful to create your anger thermometer with guidance from your counselor, providing a useful counseling tool to refer to in your sessions and a real-time strategy to use at home with family or friends.

Knowing yourself will also help you decide how the thermometer should look, including how complex, colorful, or wordy you’d like it. Self-awareness will be vital in knowing which strategies or exercises will be effective for each level of anger.

Helpful strategies can include deep breathing, counting to 10, visualizing a calming scene, mindfulness exercises (focusing on the present moment), pausing to empathize with the person you’re engaging with, taking a walk, or practicing progressive muscle relaxation.

Your anger thermometer can vary in how it looks depending on what works best for you. You can make it have three basic colors that indicate how you feel, and next to those colors, you can choose which words best describe how you’re feeling.

If you prefer numbers, you can have a scale from 1-10 in place of or in conjunction with the colors you choose. Some people prefer to use other visual cues like emojis to correspond with the colors and numbers to express themselves and make their anger thermometer uniquely their own.

An anger thermometer is not a static tool; it can evolve as you use it and discover what works best for you or your child. Instead of throwing everything at your anger thermometer on your first attempt, start simply, and see how it goes.

You can always add or delete things as you learn what’s effective and what isn’t. Over time, you may find that certain exercises aren’t effective for you, or perhaps they are effective at a different level of anger; you can adjust things to fit with what works best for you.

Finding help to handle anger effectively

An anger thermometer is one tool among many that can help you and your children identify anger triggers and learn appropriate responses to those feelings of anger. Being able to accurately describe or identify the emotions you’re feeling is a great step in dealing with difficult emotions. An anger thermometer helps you as a parent or caregiver, or the people around you (if the thermometer is for you) to know what you’re experiencing and how best to respond.

If anger is an issue for you or your child, make use of all the tools available to reduce feelings of anger and find out what’s causing these difficult emotions. Over time, guidance and input from a counselor can help you reduce feelings of anger and improve relationships as you develop greater self-awareness and learn effective strategies to identify and regulate your emotions.

A counselor can help you go deeper to understand the roots of your or your child’s anger and discern unhelpful patterns of thought and behavior that feed unhealthy anger and frustration. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you or a loved one is struggling.